this is from my myspace blog.
So I posted this about 3 months ago.


I can't believe that this has happened.
You were one of the most wonderful people on Earth...
and now your gone.
I watched you grow from this adorable child to a extremely intelligent young man.
Our moms always thought it was so amazing that our birthdays both landed on Nov. 13.

I remember when I first met you.
It must have been back in 1997 or 1998...
It was around Easter and some of the family met up at Uncle Wendel's place.
I remember how cute you were.
You and Corina. I remember you both. I remember running out the back door and we kept letting the screen door slam. There was brick on the stairs on the back pouch and when we were running I accidentally knocked it off and it landed on Corina's foot. I must say, that must have really hurt because she was wearing sandals at the time.(I still feel bad for that Corina). We ran around and the adults called us back to the house. You were only about 3 at the time, Corina was about 4 and I was about 7.
On Easter morning, I had stayed with my parents at a hotel. On the way back to Wendel's house we stopped to get something to drink. I got a sweet tea. When we got to Wendel's, I layed the drink down on the kitchen table and I started talking to Corina. When I went to take a sip of my tea there you were, drinking it. haha. You looked at me so innocently. When it was time for the Easter egg hunt the adults told all of the kids to stay inside while they were hiding the eggs. One of the eggs was huge! There was like a 100 dollars and candy inside. That was the egg that everyone wanted. But it was also supposed to be the hardest to find.
Once we started the Easter Egg hunt, we all started searching for that huge egg. I found a few eggs here and there but every time I was about to get an egg one of the other kids would bet me to it. When I came around to the front of the house, there you were. At the mailbox. You were so small and you were trying to open the mailbox. You were standing on the tips of your toes trying to reach it. What made it even funnier is that you were trying to open the mailbox from the wrong side. haha. But you eventually got it open, and to my amazement, the huge egg was in the mail box. You were only 3, and you were the youngest kid there and yet you out smarted us all.
After that trip, I never thought I would see you guys again.

2 years later, my mom got a call from Sandy saying that your sister, Jesse, had passed away. Mom told me that her and grandma would be driving out to Hampton the next day and she asked me if I wanted to go. I told her I would. When we got to Hampton, we stayed at Cecil's house.
I met you again the next morning. At the time I didn't realize that you were the same kid that I had met at the Easter egg hunt. You asked me to go outside and play with you. So I did. We walked around outside and you took me to a little shed in the back. It had a lock on it so we couldn't get in. You told me that it used to have some of your toys in it but apparently they weren't in there anymore. You seemed to be upset by this. I continued to follow you around. You took me to were the lawn mower was, You got on it and pretended that you were driving . haha. We went inside a little while later. We went into your grandparents bedroom and we laid on the floor and talked about stuff. You told me about and episode of unsolved mysteries that you had seen. And you told me about Spiderman.
Corina came over a little while later and she started playing with us. I told her that I had the Backstreet boys cd, and she begged me to play it. I can't remember if you were into the cd or not. Later on, we ran to the pond that was across the street. I got stung by a bee. And That really hurt!!!
It was eventually time for us to go to bed. We had to sleep in the floor. and Brandon, you were knocked out. You we fast asleep as soon as you hit the ground. I couldn't however, seem to fall asleep. My mom and your mom stayed up talking. I could see them setting at the table from the living room.
The next morning was the day of the funeral. I sat on the front porch next to my momma. The adults were talking. I remember that it was pouring down. The rain was spashing and it hit my face. You and Corina came running outside, wanting to play with me again.
At Jesse's Funeral, I walked up to her casket. In her hand was a picture of you and picture of Corina. I felt terrible for your mom. She had lost her oldest child, and what made it even worse was that Jesse was buried on her 21sth birthday.
It wasn't until that evening that I learned that you and Corina were the same kids I had met at the Easter egg hunt.
Later on that summer, Mom told me that Sandy and you guys were coming to visit. I was so excited. When you guys finally arrived I was so happy. One night, we went downstairs and we decided to play hide and seek in the dark. What a great plan that was!!! No, really, it wasn't a good idea. I hid behind a table that was beside the couch. The couch was old and some of the springs were sticking out of the back of it. Brandon, during this particular round, You were counting. not being able to see, I tired to move so I would be more comfortable and by doing so, I lost my balance and fell be hide the couch. The next thing I knew was that my eye hurt and I couldn't open it. I reached up to touch it...I felt a warm liquid coming from it. My first reaction was that "Oh God!! I've just cut my eye!" So I ran to the door and while running upstairs I mistakingly pushed you. (I'm really didn't mean to push you. I'm really sorry about that.) I ran to the bathroom. Mom came in freaking out! She was like "Shes cut her eye!!". Sandy took a look at it and told her that I had only cut my eye lid, not the eye. When I saw you again Brandon, I started to tell you how sorry I was for pushing you. You weren't upset with me or anything. I think you understood what happened .
We went to Chip and Hilary's a little while later and mom didn't want me to get in the pool because she thought that the chlorine would mess with the wound. She let me get in but told me to try and not get water on my face.
A few days later you guys went back home. Corina, however, ending up staying with us for another 2 weeks.
About a year later, my mom died.
Over the summer that followed, I ended up staying at your house for 2 weeks. I was 11, Corina was 7 and Brandon was 6.
I remember playing your video games. "Zombies Ate my Neighbors" seemed to be the main one that we played. Corina, If I remember correctly(Correct me if I'm wrong ), would go to...I think it was summer school? Or was it a Day camp?? I really can't remember. Well anyway, while Corina was away you at the beginning of the day , you and I would play. You showed me your action figures. You really liked spiderman. One of them had 8 arms. You explained to me that the one with 8 arms came from a later season. We hid a lot in your closet. We pretended that we were spy's and that we couldn't be seen by anyone. We swam in the pool. We pretended that we were in the ocean, and the action figures of yours that sank to the bottom of the pool needed to be rescued. I remember that when you rode your bike, I would have to run to try and keep up with you.
I remember that there was a playground area near your house. You took me across the a little bridge that a really shallow creek flowed under. I didn't realize how close by the playground was. When you first told me about, I thought it was a little farther down the road.
I went fishing with you guys while I was down there too. One of the fish that you caught was almost the same size as you!!! Haha.

About a year later, you guys moved to the area. I remember that we ran into the woods. You took me down by a creek. And we ran though the field. And we walked though a cemetery that dated back to the 1800s. You, me, and Corina went into Corina's room and we sat on the bed. We started telling a story then we would pass the story telling on to someone else. In the end, we had this really insane story.
I think that by the next year, you had once again moved but it was only one house over. I remember that we had birthday party's together. I remember playing one of your games on the xbox. I'm not sure what the name of it was, but in the game you were skating around and you had to spray graffiti on buildings and stuff.
I remember that one year for Christmas, we got you a Indiana Jones game and we got Corina a Cd player. I remember some of the brief phone conversations that we had. I remember hearing about your adventures at the day camp that you, Corina, and Katelyn went to.
Within a few years, your mom had a new house built near Tunstall. I was so excited because you would be living near me. I remember those times that you would take me to your room to show me your newest game. I had always thought that when I got my license, that I would be hanging out with you a lot more. Last summer, Sandy told me that I should come over there and you and I could swim in the pool. However, we never got around to doing that.
Two weeks before you died I came over to your house. I went with grandma into town and she decided that we should stop by and say hi. When we pulled up you came right out onto the porch. You said "Hi Lori Lee" When you spoke, it shocked me because your voice had deepened since I had last seen you. I was like "Brandon!! Your voice has gotten deeper!!' You almost laughed and said "Yea, I know." During Dinner, I had a salad. There were some salad dressings there that I had never heard of. I asked you about them and you tried to explain the differences between each one. Your grandpa (Uncle Cecil) and you started talking about pholisiphy. In the middle of your conversation I looked at you and said "But Brandon, who decides what is normal anyway?" You looked at me and smiled. You simply joked"Don't try and challenge me with Pholisiphy, because you will never win." Then you laughed. John and his family was at dinner to. I went into your room with you and you tired to get me to play Guitar Hero 3. I had never played. You handed me the controller and explained the controls, Then you put me on the easiest song on the game at the easiest difficulty. I failed. You laughed and said " Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it." I watched you play for a few minutes. You told me about the band DragonForce and then you tired playing their song called "Though the fire and flames." While you were playing, one of John's girls ran into your room. She came up to you and started pushing the buttons on your controller. she was like "You gotta push this one" You were all like "Stop it!! Your messing up my game!!" Haha. I laughed at you.
We got into a deep conversation about religion. I could tell that you had a very strong belief in God, and that you were a strong Christian. Then we discussed politics. During one of the conversations I told you that "I wish I had known that I was coming over here today, I'm such a mess." My hair was so fizzy!!! You laughed and said "Don't worry about that. Your with family now."
We started talking about video games and we started talking about the game "indigo Prophesy". I told you that I had known that I was coming over, I would have brought it with me. You said "There will be other times."
I let you play one my Nightwish cds and it was apparent that you didn't like them that much. haha
I pulled out my camera and said "let me take a picture of you" and you were like "No!!! I hate having my picture taken"
At one point we went into the living room and your mom was like, "I wish I could take a picture of you two together."
I told your mom that I had my camera with me and so we ending up taking a picture together. We went back into your room and I took a container of tick taks out of my pocket book...Your eyes got huge..and you were like "Can I have one" I said "Yes, Of course". You ended up eating all of them.
We started up to play the game called "Dead Rising", normally I don't like those types of things but for some odd reason...it didn't bother me...I laid on your bed watching you play. I stated to doze off but every time I was about to, you were like "Lori Lee!! Are you still awake?" By 4 in the morning, you had played all you could. I got up and went into the other room so you could go to bed. As I walked out you said "Good night" and I said the same to you. Little did I know that would be one of the last times I would ever speak to you. The next morning I had to leave pretty early because I had to go to Church.
About 2 weeks later (on 1/31/08) I was sitting up against some lockers at school trying to cram some last minuet info into my brain before my test in Government. Rosa came up to me.
"Have you heard about Brandon?" she asked
I didn't know which Brandon she was talking about, so I was like "Brandon who?"
she was like "Conrad"
I hadn't heard anything...
she looked at me and said, "I'm guessing you haven't heard then..."
I was like "heard what?"
She told me that she wasn't sure she should be the one to tell me.
I told her to tell me what ever it was...
She looked at me and said "I heard that Brandon shot himself yesterday."
I didn't believe it at first, I thought it was rumor or something, but with in a few minuets I had learned that it was true.
I didn't want it to be true.
I wish that it was nightmare that I would wake up from any second.

When I got to the funeral home, the moment I started to sign your guest book...I lost it.
That was the moment that it really hit me...you were really gone..

Brandon, I love you.
You were such a sweet person.
You were destined for great things.
I've heard that this was a suicide.
But I'm not sure,
there was NO note found.
and the last time I had seen you, you seemed so enthousatic about your future.
What I want for people to understand is that you may have shot yourself, but that doesn't mean that you did it on purpose. It could have been an accident. Like you could have been cleaning the gun and it could have gone off.
Was it an accident, Brandon?
Or was it a suicide?
I don't think anyone will ever truely know.
You and God are the only ones that turely know what happened on that day.
I do know that your in heaven.
If it was suicide, you couldn't have been sane, and I have been taught that God doesn't punish people if they are unable to think clearly.
It just hurts me to know that I'll never see you again.
That I will never see those blue eyes of yours again.
I'll never see you graduate,
or get married.
Well never get to have a another conversation about Politics.


You had so much in store Brandon.
I just wish it hadn't ended so soon.
Every time I look at something it some how reminds me of you.
I miss you so much.
When God decides it time for me to come home, I'm expecting to see you, mom, and grandpa waiting for me. With your arms wide open.
I really can't believe that this is real.
Its been over a week, and it doesn't seem like this has really happened.
....
...
Brandon..
I have decided,
that when I publish my comic book, I will dedicate it to you.

I want people to remember you for who you were. The unselfish, kind, smart person that you were.



Brandon, You will never be far from my thoughts.
With much love,
Your Cousin,
Lori Lee